Six Month Follow Up Report--More Mixed Results

Once again my PET scan results were bleak.  The report stated that everything is growing and there are lots of new spots.  Most concerning was that there are lesions in the left side of my face--so does that mean my facial pain is from cancer?--and that both adrenal glands are involved.  Ugh.  I was so hoping for some good news from this scan!  But I determined that I wasn't going to assume the worst until I talked to my doctor from Mexico, because last time (three months ago) we were practically preparing for the end after getting the gloomy PET scan report only to get very hopeful, positive news from the doctor.  Most importantly, I feel great except for the facial pain:  I still have no bone pain, and I feel stronger and better than I have in the past year!  How does that make sense if the cancer is spreading heavily?

The follow-up procedures were the same:  blood work and ultrasound first thing in the morning on day one; meeting with the doctor to get results and recommendations for further treatment on day two.  The blood work results showed that the cancer marker went up 500+ points; this is the first time it has gone up since the end of my three weeks of treatment at Hope 4 Cancer the beginning of March.  Up to this point it had been dropping 500-600 points every six weeks. Blood work also showed some stress on my liver, but nothing serious.  This is due to all the pain meds I've had to take for my trigeminal nerve nueralgia, so it's expected. The ultrasound results were positive with all my organs looking completely normal.  When I met with Dr. Romero, he again was positive and reiterated what he said three months earlier--he believes the PET scan and cancer marker indicate that the cancer that is left in my bones is very active, but he does not believe all the activity is from the cancer growing or spreading. I asked him about the lesions in my face and the uptake in the adrenals and if PET scans show things other than the presence of cancer.  He said that PET scans can also show high levels of inflammation, which makes perfect sense with my face...the trigeminal nerve is obviously highly inflamed!  Regarding the adrenal glands, he said that they looked perfectly normal in the ultrasound, so he believes they just have some inflammation, too, but are not cancerous. So I am holding my own, but Dr. Romero did want to change my treatment somewhat, because we want to see more positive results with cancer disappearing on the PET scan and the cancer marker continuing to go down instead of up.  I will continue with another three months of gcMAF injections as well as a new protocol of Mistletoe injections along with a couple new supplements.  He also recommended doing my treatments at home more often. I have come across Mistletoe (yes, the Christmas kissing plant) being an effective cancer treatment in my research, so it wasn't a total surprise to me.  I give myself a Mistletoe injection every three days.  Hopefully the combination of gcMAF and Mistletoe will be powerful enough to get me over the hump to seeing actual improvement in test results. I am also expected to follow up again in three months since I am on the new protocol. Three months would be Christmastime, which isn't ideal.  If I push it out to January, we can bypass the holidays, plus Bob's vacation will start over, allowing him to accompany me again.

The images and numbers left my family and I with feelings of trepidation and concern probably best illustrated by Rose in the car while we were driving to the airport.  She asked me, "So, if all the news is bad, does that mean.....?"  I said, "Go ahead and say it; it's okay."  Well, she didn't say it, but I knew she meant, "Does that mean you're probably going to die?", so I replied, "Yes, that's probably what it means."  She didn't say anything else--just put her ear buds in and listened to her music, but I reached over and took her hand, and we held hands almost the whole way to the airport.

What is undeniable is the way I feel--which, again, is better and stronger than I've felt in the past year--and the fact that I have no bone pain.  If there was as much cancer in my body as the PET scan seems to indicate, then I should be experiencing a lot of pain in several areas of my body.  We are focusing on these positive indications, I am hitting the treatments a little harder again, and we are continuing to trust our Heavenly Father who is full of compassion and grace
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Pieces of the Puzzle

My first follow-up appointment in Mexico was mid-June, three months after my initial three weeks of  treatments at Hope 4 Cancer.  My family and I were feeling really good about the follow up, because I still had no bone pain, blood work looked good, and I was feeling quite well again after my initial bout of Lyme disease. However, we were all thrown for a loop when I received the report from the PET scan taken the week before my follow up.  The report indicated "significant progression" of the cancer since the previous PET scan.  There was lots of new cancer and growth of the cancer that was already present.  It was in all of my long bones (both arms and legs now), throughout my entire spine and sternum and ribs, hips and pelvis. There was also evidence of destruction in some bones. It was difficult to digest the news myself, let alone share it with Bob and the kids. I had been telling people that I would be surprised if the cancer was completely gone, and I would be surprised if it was worse. I was fully expecting something in the middle--that there would still be cancer present, but that there would be indications that it was shrinking.  This report was quite devastating.  And so confusing!  If the cancer was so bad, how was it possible that I was still having no bone pain?

I think we were all doing our best not to freak out, so we determined to wait and see what my doctor at Hope 4 Cancer , Dr. Romero, had to say about the scan. Thankfully, his perspective was completely positive and changed everything!  He said that he was convinced that what the PET scan showed was simply part of the healing process, not growing cancer. Relief flooded over me, and I realized how much sense his interpretation made.  It's important to remember that scans do not diagnose anything...they simply show if something is there.  Conventional doctors and alternative doctors had completely different interpretations of what my PET scan showed.  Dr. Romero reminded me that scans can show what appears to be spreading cancer, when, in fact, it can be cancer cells being killed and breaking down. Picture what happens to a cracker when it gets wet--it breaks down and spreads out in a soggy mess.  The cracker isn't growing into a larger cracker; it's breaking apart and disintegrating, but it looks like it is taking up more volume/space. One very interesting thing about my PET scan images was that, although, yes, it looked like cancer (which shows up black on the images) was spreading significantly throughout my skeleton, it looked as if it was spreading symmetrically. The black color in the image was diffused evenly and symmetrically...down both arms and legs, the entire spine, sternum, and ribs.  But cancer doesn't work that way--it is the complete opposite of orderly and symmetrical; it is random, disorderly, and out of control.  So I interpreted that phenomenon as aligning more with Dr. Romero's interpretation that it was the healing process than with the interpretation that the cancer was growing and spreading.

Then there is what the PET scan didn't show--and what was confirmed by the ultrasound done in Mexico during my follow up. All of my organs and breasts and head/skull were clear.  In my mind, if the cancer was so much worse, it would be spreading to organs, but it isn't. Also, my previous PET scan showed a spot on my right lung and in the base of my skull; this PET scan made no mention of those spots, and instead said the lungs and skull were clear. The report didn't specifically mention those two areas and say they are now gone, so it was a bit ambiguous, but still.

Additionally, the bloodwork showed that the cancer markers continued to drop, which wouldn't make much sense if the cancer was getting worse.  

Taking into consideration all the pieces of the puzzle--no bone pain, feeling well physically, no organ involvement, dropping cancer markers, and the orderly fashion of the "spreading"--the radiologist's interpretation of the PET scan is the only piece that didn't fit.  In light of that, I chose to believe Dr. Romero's positive interpretation.  

Dr. Romero didn't make any changes to my treatment plan, either.  I purchased another three months worth of the gcMAF injections and continued with all of my home treatments as well as going to the clinic in Fond du Lac for treatment once a week.

I have been lax in updating my blog, so here it is, the week before I leave for my second and final follow-up visit to Hope 4 Cancer.  Those three months sure flew by!  I did have a second Lyme flare up which lasted five weeks (from July 6 through the second week of August), but it wasn't quite as bad as the first one. I will have another PET scan this week before I leave, and I have been praying specifically for this image to show some clear improvement.  My blood work has continued to show improvement, I still have no bone pain, and I feel better and stronger than I have in a long time.  At some point, if the treatments are working and the cancer is going away, there has to be some visual evidence in the scans, and it would be fantastic to see that this time!

My only current issue is, I believe, unrelated to the cancer. I have developed neuralgia of the trigeminal nerve in the left side of my face which has been a problem for about six weeks now.  I don't know what caused it other than the fact that I do tend to frequently sleep on my left side. I have a lot of pain and numbness, and it keeps me up throughout the night causing significant sleep issues as well. I have been throwing everything at it, but I haven't seen any improvement...only worsening.  I've been getting my jaw adjusted, doing infrared light therapy on the nerve, using essential oils and Chinese herbs and other supplements, applying  hot packs, and have done some ozone treatments to the area. Any relief is short-lived. I saw my acupuncturist, but he doesn't want to do acupuncture due to my low energy levels, because acupuncture needles actually release more energy.  At this point, though, I would rather suffer a little more low energy and get some pain relief, so I have contacted him again about treatment. I've been using my left over pain drugs from when I had bone pain early in the year to get some relief, but I'm almost out, so I have an appointment with a pain management doc this week to hopefully get some better pain meds.  

My brother, Steve, will be accompanying me on this visit to Hope 4 Cancer.  Our flight leaves bright and early this Saturday, and we are looking forward to spending a few days with our Uncle Terry and Aunt Jacki in California before heading to Mexico next Tuesday.  I will be at the clinic in Tijuana on Wednesday and Thursday, and we fly back home on Friday.

It would be awesome if I have all good news to share after the follow up, but if not, I will still love and praise my God, because He is good ALL the time!

Running for My Life

In my last post, "A Peace of My Mind", I wrote about the struggle I was having with a bout of Lyme disease.  The fevers began on April 8, and they continued daily until May 11.  The illness had me just shy of being bedridden...I could walk from one room to another, but that was about it.  Going upstairs to shower was very difficult, and I would be completely wiped out afterward.  I managed to keep my treatment appointments at Fox Valley Wellness Center, but only because I had people who were willing to drive me there and back.  I've never been so sick before, and I felt like I was fading away.  My family did a phenomenal job caring for me, but it hurt my heart to know how much it hurt them to see me in that state.  It was discouraging, and it felt like I was never going to feel well again.

Surprisingly, the fevers and illness stopped as suddenly as they had begun, and God's timing couldn't have been more perfect.  I awakened Saturday morning, May 12, feeling just as good as I had when I returned from Mexico; it was as if a switch had been flipped.  I sat in my bed that morning with tears running down my face as I praised and thanked my Father for such a wonderful blessing.  You see, that day was important, because it was the day that my boss, Dr. Nic Giebler, was running the Ice Age Trail 50 mile race through the woods of Kettle Moraine...and he was running it to raise funds for my Mexico cancer treatments.  He was running for my life.

Just a few days earlier Bob and I were both disappointed in the likelihood that I would be unable to attend Dr. Nic's race, and we had told him that, so he was not expecting us to be there.  What a great feeling to surprise him by being at the finish line!  He had a great race, coming in 9th out of 325 finishers with a time of 7:44.

                                          Dr. Nic & Ellie, Edwin, Estelle, Emerin...and I.

Dr. Nic asked people to sponsor each mile of the 50-mile run at $50 per mile.  The response was so overwhelming that the first race was filled up in a matter of days with more people still signing up, so Dr. Nic decided to run a second 50-mile race!  That race was also completely sponsored, and then some, leaving Dr. Nic wondering if he will need to run a third race this year.  We were all stunned by the incredible response--well over $6000 has been raised!  I can no longer tease Dr. Nic about his crazy running habit!  ;)

Another very cool thing Dr. Nic did to increase awareness of the fundraiser was to contact our local newspaper and ask them to do a story.  The reporter did a fantastic job of telling about the special relationship between me and the Gieblers and Dr. Nic's inspiration for the fundraiser.  I love the Gieblers like family, and I am so thankful for Dr. Nic's sacrificial contribution!
Click here to read the story:  http://dlvr.it/QSbzWP .

This Saturday, June 30, Dr. Nic will be running his second 50 mile trail race in Green Bay.  Unfortunately, we won't be able to attend, since we will be out of town, but we will be cheering him on from afar and praying for a safe (temperatures are forecasted to be in the 90s!) and good race.

A Peace of My Mind

Blindsided.  Sucker punched.  Gobsmacked (that's a fun word).  These all accurately describe how I felt last Wednesday when I was told that I have Lyme disease.  What?!  That can't be right.  This clinic is known for treating Lyme patients, so, what--do they tell everyone they have Lyme?  This is too coincidental.  Yes, I was in disbelief.  But the testing is very precise, and there is nothing to doubt.

From early on in my treatments at Fox Valley, I have said that the Lyme patients are way worse off than I was--the only symptom I had was leg pain.  I've seen them, talked to them, heard their stories of incredible suffering from this debilitating disease.  So it was a crushing blow to hear I had Lyme in addition to cancer--I think mostly because it hadn't even been on the radar, and was such a complete shock.  My doctor was very concerned about my most recent bloodwork from the previous week that indicated I had tons of inflammation going on.  That wasn't a surprise--I mean I knew I was sick.  For all but five days since April 8, I have been running fevers and feeling lousy, experiencing all kinds of weird aches and pains, and getting weaker and more wiped out as time goes on.  Initially I was convinced I had caught a nasty virus that my Love had had a couple weeks prior to my fevers starting, but as time went on, I knew that wasn't very likely.  My doctor had the testing done to determine if what I have is viral, bacterial, or fungal--but even he never mentioned Lyme.

The diagnosis broke me.  I did not handle it well.  I'm very thankful that my good friend, Tammy, was with me that day, sat through everything and heard it firsthand.  I really don't know what I would have done if I had been on my own.  She kept me sane, kept things in perspective, talked me through it, spoke encouragement and support to me, and prayed over me more than once.  Things went downhill after she dropped me off at home.  I told Bob, and couldn't even get two words out before I completely lost it and broke down sobbing into his chest.  I wasn't able to utter more than a sentence or two without crying the rest of that night, and I've been in tears multiple times a day since then.  My Love has had to hold me several times while I just sob.  I never reacted like this to any cancer news, and I never doubted or questioned God through the whole cancer thing.  This was different.  I didn't understand it, I was scared, and I was losing it.  It was too much, and my faith faltered.  I acknowledge that my weakened, sick physical state heavily influenced my emotions, but regardless, I don't ever recall feeling so defeated.

I have never been more miserable in my life.  The fevers are constant, some part of my body is always hurting, I can barely move, and I'm not sleeping well.  Every time I took ibuprofen or Aleve to get some relief, I would end up being awake half the night with the same withdrawal symptoms of jitters, restlessness, and even itching that I experienced when I weaned off my narcotic pain killers after Mexico.  Or I would wake up completely soaked in cold sweat from the fever breaking.  I've sweated through three shirts in one night.  So even though I would get pain relief for a few hours, I still wasn't getting any sleep.  I feel like I'm on the verge of being an invalid, because I need so much help with everything.  I can still move by body around by myself, but it's been painfully slow (sloth mode).  I'm never completely comfortable or symptom-free, and I'm exhausted.  Many times in the night I sobbed, begging God to just give me enough relief to be able to sleep more than two or three hours at a time.  So far the answer has been, "No."

The past couple days have been a little better, since I've just kept taking medicine.  I still have fevers come on during the afternoon, and I've been sweating a few times when a fever breaks, but I've been mostly pain- and misery-free.  Nighttime was slightly better, too, but still needs improvement.

Satan has been throwing a lot of fiery darts full of doubts, questioning, and self pity my way the past several days, and I have to say that instead of a warrior ready to battle, I feel more like I'm just cowering behind my shield, desperately trying to remember the truth of God's Word to survive the attacks.  My shield of faith is intact, but battered.  I'm lifting my sword (the Word of God), but I'm not very strong, and I feel like my attempts to wield it are pathetic and wobbly.  I keep trying to think on truths and Scripture in the Bible every time I'm tempted to despair, and it does work.  The problem is that Satan is attacking me unrelentingly every day.  I honestly don't know for sure which tears are sinful questioning and self pity and which are acceptable sorrow.  Regardless, I'm doing a bit better each day regaining control of my mind and emotions.  Some people have sent me encouraging Scriptures which is very helpful...and I need all the help I can get right now.

I entitled this post "A Peace of My Mind" for a couple reasons.  First, I want to share a brutally honest picture of the state of my mind.  I'm not nearly so strong as some of you think; any strength I have at all is coming solely from Jesus--it's not mine.  I'm ashamed and embarrassed at how I've fallen, because there are so many people who have gone through so much worse.  Secondly, it's a play on words, because my mind has rarely been peaceful the past several days.  I'm trying really hard to get that peace--and joy and positivity--back, but it's been slow.  I know, though, that if I keep working at it faithfully...thinking what is right, fighting Satan's attacks...my emotions will follow.  

I have considered the similarity with Elijah.  After his mountain top experience defeating the 450 prophets of Babel with the miracle of God sending fire from heaven on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18), he experienced one of the lowest times in his life.  Queen Jezebel threatened to kill him because he had destroyed her prophets. Elijah was scared and ran away.  He stopped under a tree and asked God to end his life.  God sent an angel to minister to Elijah where he was and prepare him for what lay ahead (1 Kings 19).  Mexico was definitely a mountain top experience for Bob and I, and the "high" lasted several weeks.  But then I crashed and started getting the unexplained fevers.  It's possible God wants me to be still and let Him minister to me.

I also considered Job, who was a righteous man in God's sight, but God allowed Satan to take almost everything away from him--all his children, all his livestock, and even his health--just to prove to Satan that Job would not curse God...not because Job had done anything wrong.  When Job did attempt to question God, God responded by basically saying, "Who do you think you are, Job, to question the Almighty?"  Then God reminded Job of his supernatural power and knowledge and how He controls all of creation.  Job repented of questioning God's plan.  I am nowhere close to Job's caliber, and it reminded me how much less of a reason I have for questioning His hand in my life; so I repented.

Maybe God is simply addressing my pride.  I thought I was doing so well handling all the cancer stuff--I got this!  Maybe God is humbling me and putting me in a place where there is no doubt Who is in control and where He is the only One to whom I can run.

I don't know the answer why, and I may never know.  But I know my Redeemer lives and proved His love for me on the cross.  I will choose to love Him and trust Him, no matter what and no matter how difficult it is.  God help me.

     

Roller Coaster

Roller coaster is the best way to describe my Mexico journey.  I have always loved roller coasters, but this one isn't the most fun--although it is quite a ride!  My symptoms intensified when I started treatments (increased pain and several fevers), but the doctors say that it is completely expected, and it is a good sign indicating that the treatments are working and causing my immune system to "reset" and have a good response.   It was easier to accept the increased discomfort, knowing that it is part of the process of healing.  I will remind you that one of the keys to fighting cancer is having a healthy, functioning immune system.  Every individual day is a roller coaster in and of itself.  I will alternate between feeling quite well and then not so well--or even downright lousy.

I stopped taking Aleve after I arrived, and I have been able to cut back significantly on the hydrocodone, because they have much better and safer pain meds here which are administered through my port (I had a subclavian catheter put in the day after I arrived), and therefore take effect much faster than oral meds.  I get a dose at 8:00 a.m., and a second dose at 8:00 p.m.  One morning the dose ran way too fast and caused me to lose my breakfast, so after that we ran it more slowly, and I had no further problems.  For the past several days we have been running it faster again, but it has not caused any nausea or vomiting, so I assume my body has adjusted to it better now.

My schedule begins around 7:00 a.m. every day.  My nurse will take my vitals and start my IV pain meds, then breakfast is at 8:00, I have a coffee enema at 9:00--my kids call it my "butt coffee" LOL (30 minutes), local hyperthermia at 10:30 (30 minutes), lunch at 1:00, hyperbarics at 2:00 (1 hour), either infrared sauna (25 minutes) or full body hyperthermia (45 minutes) on alternating days at 4:00, and dinner at 5:30.  After the pain med IV is finished, I have either a B17 or a Vitamin C IV (alternating days), which can run while getting many of the other therapies.  During free time between those scheduled therapies, I have to complete photo therapy (1 hour), sono therapy (30  minutes), laser pads therapy (30 minutes), PEMF therapy (10 minutes), and infrared lamp therapy (30 minutes).  Twice a week I also have UVBI (ultra violet blood ozone therapy), which takes at least a couple hours.  I will explain all the therapies in more detail in a later post.  As you can see, I am quite busy!

One week after I arrived, I began the Sunivera protocol which includes four different supplements taken in conjunction with a gcMAF injection.  The injections are given for five day increments with a two day break in between; the supplements are taken every day.  I have explained Sunivera and gcMAF in detail in a separate post.

When I first arrived, I had blood work done, a urine sample, and an ultrasound of my neck (thyroid), breasts, chest, and abdomen (organs and reproductive organs).  There was nothing of concern other than the already-known cancer.  Another ultrasound and blood work will be done before I leave.  I will not have another PET scan for 3 months--not until just before I return here for my three-month follow up visit.  The reason for the delay is because no significant visible changes would be expected prior to that.  When cancer is dying and breaking up, it can actually take up more physical space and look like it is growing; it can take a few months before it shows shrinkage on an image, so it could be deceiving to get a scan too early.

The meals are great!  Breakfast is usually some kind of porridge (oatmeal, quinoa, coconut) with a bit of fresh fruit in it, eggs, and fruit or veggies, and a seed "milk".  Once a week on Tuesdays, we get pancakes for breakfast, and they are really good--eveyone looks forward to breakfast on Tuesday!  Cinnamon, honey, salt & pepper, and VERY hot sauce are available for condiments.  Lunch consists of a vegetable soup, some type of fish, and salad.  Dinner is always another type of vegetable soup, cooked vegetables (lots of variety and served with tasty sauces or guacamole), salad, and occasionally couscous or rice or even a pasta (which has been served twice).  There are several daily juices that we are required to have as well.  First thing in the morning we have a glass of freshly squeezed lemon in water followed by shots of wheat grass, golden milk (turmeric), and hibiscus juice.  Midmorning we have a glass of green juice, and midafternoon we have a glass of red juice.  Some patients have protein shakes, too, if ordered by the doctor.  All day there are three pitchers of flavored water available for our enjoyment, and I have liked them all.  Orange and strawberry slices, cherries, mixed berries, peach slices, guava slices, pear slices and cinnamon sticks, cucumber slices, cranberries, lemon slices, and orange slices are the flavors I can remember.

Above:  green juice and flavored waters.                                 Pancake Tuesday  :)

     

Omelette with potatoes.                                                          Quinoa porridge.

                         

                 L to R:  seed milk; hibiscus, golden milk, wheat grass shots; Sunivera drink.

Above: Quinoa patty with white sauce, broccoli & cauliflower, avocado & tomato; vegetable soup.

Below:  Our last Saturday evening at the clinic there was a banquet with a dessert table, and it was delicious!

My Key Cancer Treatment--gcMAF

In an earlier article I listed some of the treatments available here at Hope 4 Cancer, but I wasn't sure at the time which one would be my top treatment.  Now that I have started it, I would like to explain it to you.  The program is called Sunivera, but the treatment itself is something called gcMAF.

The human body produces gcMAF on its own; it stands for "gc Macrophage Activating Factor." Macrophages are defense cells that gobble up cancer cells--or bacteria, pathogens, etc.--and eliminate them.  Macrophages look like a rounded Pac Man...they have a "mouth" aand go around swallowing or absorbing enemy cells.  However, macrophages do not go into action on their own; they must first be given the order to attack--they must be activated.

Before I can explain the activation process, I need to share some additional information.  First, "gc" is a protein that binds vitamin D molecules together.  When the body's lymphocytes interact with the gc from Vitamin D, they produce gcMAF, and gcMAF signals or activates the macrophages to go to work and start seekimg and destroying the enemy.  Problems occur because those evil cancer cells emit a substance called "nagalase" which blocks the formation of gcMAF.  The more cancer present, the more nagalase is produced.  It is now easy to see that although a person could have plenty of lymphocytes and plenty of vitamin D available and plenty of macrophages, nagalase allows cancer to short circuit the body's defense process by preventing the macrophages from ever receiving the signal to attack.

Dr. Tony Jimenez, founder of Hope 4 Cancer, has been following the research on gcMAF, communicating with the developing scientists, and has been able to obtain quality sources for it and start implementing the program at his clinic.  The gcMAF used by Hope 4 Cancer is sourced in Japan and obtained from healthy human blood.  By directly giving cancer patients gcMAF, the signal-interrupting nagalase is foiled, and the macrophages are activated.   This treatment is one way in which cancer can be outsmarted, and it is exciting stuff!

The gcMAF is administered via daily injections from a small syringe...comparable to those used by diabetics to inject insulin.  The Sunivera program combines the gcMAF injections with four other supplements that simply enhance the natural body process but aren't necessary for the gcMAF to work.  I began the program one week into my stay at Hope 4 Cancer, and will continue it for 3 months at home.

Mexico!

Tuesday morning, February 13, we headed to the airport in Milwaukee.  My brother and sister-in-law, Steve & Rebecca, drove, and our three kids still at home, Heidi, Ben, and Rose, came along as well.  Blessing #1 was having Steve & Becca see us off and then making a day of it with our kids by doing some shopping and taking them out to lunch.  It was a quick, tearful good bye at the curb, and then suddenly my Love and I were in Mitchell International checking our bags and our flight status.  We were excited, yet it was kind of surreal to finally be on our way after about six weeks of preparation.

We flew to St. Louis first, where we caught a connecting flight to San Diego.  Blessing #2 was the first God-thing on this trip.  While I was using the restroom near our gate, I spotted my kids' piano teacher, Sue Zuberbier.  No way!  She didn't hear me call her name, and she was ahead of me in the line, so I thought I missed my chance to catch her.  But God.  When I came out of the bathroom stall, who was right in front of me washing her hands?  Yes, it was Sue, and she was just as surprised to see me!  It turned out that Sue and her husband, Ted, were catching a flight back to Milwaukee after having been visiting some grandchildren.  When Sue and I exited the restroom, we found Ted very near the gate where Bob was waiting for me, and we enjoyed just a few joyful minutes together.  Of course we took a selfie, and Bob prayed before we parted ways.  What a cool start to our journey!

Shortly after that, we boarded our plane and arrived in San Diego about four hours later.  Both flights went smoothly with no problems, and I had no issues with leg pain on the journey, either.  An airport shuttle took us to our hotel, and we were soon settled in.  It was so nice to feel the balmy air and see lots of palm trees.  

< We enjoyed flying over the mountains in California.


> The welcoming outdoor terrace at our hotel.

The front desk staff recommended we visit Old Town in San Diego for dinner, so we did.  A driver from the hotel dropped us off at Old Town, and we found a great open-air restaurant named Café Coyote, where we enjoyed a fantastic authentic Mexican meal on the patio.  It was a fun and relaxing way to spend the evening after the long day traveling.  After dinner, we walked through a large shop nearby, then called the hotel for a driver to pick us up.

We headed to bed soon after returning to the hotel, since we knew a driver from Hope 4 Cancer would be arriving bright and early the next morning to take us across the border to Tijuana where the clinic is located.  The hotel bed was very comfortable, and we both had a restful night before the next step in this adventure.

Our driver, Uriel, picked us up promptly at 7:00 a.m. the next morning, Valentine's Day, and we headed south to the Hope 4 Cancer clinic.  Uriel was friendly and knowledgeable, so we weren't lacking for conversation during the drive.  We had a brief stop at the Mexican border offices in order to obtain temporary visitor visas, then before we knew it, we were across into Mexico.  Apparently it's quite easy to go into Mexico, but not so easy to cross back into the U.S. from Mexico.  It was fascinating to see the border fences between the U.S. and Mexico.  Mexico has its own fence made of several different materials for different stretches, and all of it is old and rundown, and much of it covered with graffiti or murals.  Some stretches are old brick wall about ten feet high...with trees planted all along it, allowing people to easily climb a tree to the top and jump over.  Some of it is rusty corrugated metal, and the stretch beginning in the ocean is very high metal louvres--with open space between the metal slats, but not enough space for a human to squeeze through.  The U.S. also has its own fence, and although it is not nearly as colorful as Mexico's, it is well maintained and uniform--a high chain link fence with plenty of barbed wire looped along the top.  The space between the two fences is like no-man's-land, and U.S. border patrol SUVs can be seen regularly.  The Hope 4 Cancer clinic is right across the street from the ocean, and the border wall is only about a quarter mile away.

       

The clinic is a pretty nondescript brick and stucco building along the street, and the only signage is on the glass of the main entrance door.  The clinic started in one building, but as time went on, Dr. Tony expanded by purchasing neighboring buildings and connecting them.  This resulted in the clinic being somewhat of a maze on the inside, and it took me several days to figure out to learn the layout.  Patient rooms are mixed in with all the different treatment rooms on both floors; there is a nurse's station on each floor; the dining room and terrace are on the second floor, and there are three different ways to get to the dining room!

               

Dr. Tony during a Q&A session.

Good Gifts

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"
                                                                                                                  Matthew 7:7-11

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."                           James 1:17

Our Father loves His children and delights in doing good for us, and He has demonstrated that in many concrete ways in our lives.  I would like to list some of them, so you can praise and thank Him with us!

* This morning, Ben & I got haircuts.  I have always cut Ben's hair up to this point, but he's about a month overdue, and since he wants a "style" now, it takes longer than a buzz with the clippers.  I just didn't have time before we leave next week.  The woman who cuts my hair is the owner of the salon and is familiar with my story; the woman who cut Ben's hair is a patient at the chiropractic office where I work, so she knows me, too.  When I went up to pay, they said today's haircuts were on them and wished me well on my journey to Mexico--what an unexpected blessing!

* Yesterday in the mail we received insurance checks reimbursing us for about 90% of the cost of all the hyperbaric oxygen treatments I received last year.  The total was about $3700!  I really thought the chance of our insurance covering them was slim to none, since they were ordered by a doctor who owns an alternative clinic and since the diagnosis was cancer, but my God has no trouble accomplishing the nearly impossible! 

* My boss came up with a super fundraising idea for me.  He is an avid ultra-marathon trail runner, and lots of our patients follow his races and accomplishments.  He has a 50 mile trail race coming up in May, and he decided to seek sponsorships for each mile of that race.  There are posters all over the office, and he explained it in our monthly office newsletter this past week.  His goal is to get $50 sponsored for each of the 50 miles which would equal $2500 raised for "Kim's Cause."  It has been exciting to see the response so far in such a short time!  (I guess I can't make fun of his "crazy running habit" anymore.  :)  )

*My sister, brother-in-law, and one niece drove over from Michigan last weekend just to see us before we leave for Mexico, and it was a really good, though short, visit.  My sister took me shopping to get some Valentine's Day gifts for Heidi, Ben, and Rose that we can leave for them to open, since Valentine's Day is the day after we leave.  She also bought me some lounge pants and capris that actually fit.  :)  Another thoughtful gift!

* A couple weekends ago, the group "Butch's Army" held another brat fry fundraiser for me which raised several more hundred dollars despite the cold winter weather.  This group has been a tremendous blessing to us as they seek to assist cancer patients, and their troops are full of special people! (How do you know you live in Wisconsin?  You have a brat fry in January!)

* As always, the steady stream of donations, meals, gift cards, etc., has continued as well as cards, encouraging words, and promises of prayer.  I can't even put into words how overwhelming it all is.  I know people do this kind of thing all the time, but to be the recipient of it is just unspeakably amazing!

As incredible as all the support is, there is something just a bit more special and touching when it comes from children.  Their notes induce laughter and tears together.  Our daughter, Rose, left me a note one day with all of the $6 she had to her name.  Three of my nephews each wrote a card with some of their money--the youngest one gave me all of his $4 which he had won at New Year's Eve Bingo at a family gathering.  We all know how important a few dollars is to a kid, so the fact that they have such tender, giving hearts is tear-jerking.  My boss's two children just sent me a colored picture and hand-written card this week, and again they were very sweet.  I will put photos of them below, so you can enjoy just how sweet and special and heart-melting they are!



















    

                       
 

 

* Two different times in the past couple weeks, I have had fellow believers stop and pray over me when we met...it is indescribable to feel God's presence when "two or three are gathered in [His] name."  One was a fellow patient at the clinic in Fond du Lac...I ran into him and his wife as we were checking out one day, and they prayed with me right there in the reception area.  Yesterday, my friend Tammy was my chauffer for the day (we have a blast road-tripping together to treatments, and we almost always spend time in prayer as she's driving me around the tri-county area), and we ran into one of her friends in a health food store where we stopped in between appointments.  After chatting for several minutes, her friend also prayed over me right in the store aisle.  Mutual fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ is sweet, and all of the beleivers God has put in my path have truly been a gift from God!

* Tears...tears are one of God's good gifts.  Tears of gratitude, tears of joy, and even tears of pain.  I used to be called the "ice queen" for good reason, but not anymore!  Tears come regularly now, and that's a good thing.  Tears of pain can be cleansing, and I've learned not to try to stop them all the time.  Sometimes having a good cry for several minutes offers a release that allows me to cope with the pain better afterward.

* Pain can be a gift, too.  It develops empathy for others in pain and helps put things in perspective.  It can help you find levels of strength you didn't know you had, or it can drive you to your knees and demand dependency on God's strength when you have none left of your own.

I have been doing really well the past week or so, since I got better pain meds, and several people have remarked on how good I look, so I know it's not just me.  ;)  The difference made in physical appearance and wellness, and in mental outlook is significant between struggling with pain and having relief from pain.  And since pain is virtually the only outward symptom I experience, when it is absent, there is really no indication that I am a stage IV cancer patient.

I have been alternating two Aleve with one hydrocodone every six hours--so I am only taking each medication every 12 hours--and it has been working really well.  Many times I will find myself noticing that it has been longer than six hours since I last took meds, because I wasn't having any pain.  But I don't wait until I have pain to take more medicine...I stay in front of it.

I have discovered one weird quirk with my leg pain.  There is something about lying down in bed that triggers the pain to flare up briefly.  Every. Single. Time.  When I go to bed my leg will start hurting 30-45 minutes after I lie down.  This also explains why a couple of the treatments I've had (lying flat on the PEMF mat and lying down for the lymphatic massage treatment) caused my leg pain to flare up a bit.  It hasn't been the worst severe pain but bad enough that I can't ignore it and fall asleep, so I get back up and go out to the living room and watch TV for an hour to hour and a half before it subsides on its own without having to take more meds.  This past week I figured out that I can "trick" my body by lying down earlier in the afternoon/evening, waiting for the inevitable pain, getting up and going about my business, and then, when I really want to go to bed for the night, it won't bother me again, and I can fall asleep and sleep all night.  I don't know why or how it works, but it does, so I've been doing it all week with great success.

I have definitely lost more weight than I wanted.  I weigh about 115 pounds which is 10-15 pounds less than the minimum where I'm comfortable...and I am wearing the same size pant as Rose, who is 12 years old--not cool!  I know I've lost muscle, too, because I have basically been unable to even walk for exercise since last June.  For awhile I lost weight because my stomach was "off," and food didn't always sound good.  Although my appetite has been normal for the past couple months, I'm still just maintaining that weight.  I believe at this point it is due to my busy schedule.  I'm driving between appointments a lot, and the places I go are 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or an hour away.  Plus, sometimes there are eating restrictions with treatments--for instance I can't eat for two hours before a colonics appointment, and I can't eat for 30-45 minutes after taking some of my supplements.  Anyway, I am counting on gaining some weight back while I'm in Mexico, because all my treatments will be in one place and a chef will be preparing all my organic meals for me.

The kids seem to be pretty excited about me going to Mexico, because they know this is what I need to do to get better.  Bob has been very upbeat the past week or so as our departure date draws nearer for much the same reason.  He has independently made some surprising plans for the trip, too.  He had read on the Mexico clinic's website that we could bring pictures and things to make our room more homey, and it was suggested that we consider leaving something in the room to encourage the next patient who occupies it.  So he took care of it by talking to our pastor's wife, who hand paints beautiful barn wood custom pieces, and she made two signs for us to take.  He also printed out a family photo and had Heidi print out the words to "Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer" and put them in frames.



         





Being apart from our kids for three weeks straight is not something we have ever done before, so it will be a new experience for all of us, and we can't be exactly sure how it will affect us.  We can, however, count on God's loving hand to uphold us all through the experience.

Our second oldest daughter, Holly, is home from Iowa this weekend to spend time with us before we leave next week, and we're all very happy about that!  We haven't seen Holly as much as we've seen our oldest, Emily, who was home for a whole week at Thanksgiving and for another week in early January.

We have several little things to do this weekend before our trip besides packing. so we will be busy.  I am not working or having any treatments on Monday, since I will most likely need that day to finish making preparations, but I will stop in at work to say good-bye before I leave.  I said good-byes to everyone at the Fond du Lac clinic, the Inochi clinic in West Bend, and the colonics office this past week.  Everyone wished me well or ensured they will be praying and said they can't wait to hear how everything goes.  I was at the bank this morning to send the wire transfer of funds to the Mexico clinic, and the ladies in the bank wished me well, too.

I'm hoping to be able to post updates while we're in Mexico, but I'm not entirely sure how reliable the internet will be nor how tired I'll be.  At the least we will have some relatives post updates on Facebook.

Thank you all again for the faithful prayer support, encouragement, and financial gifts that God has used to make this trip possible!  We have seen Him work miracles and answer so many prayers already, and I have been thanking Him in advance for the good gifts with which I know He is going to continue to bless us!